Posted by
Roswellian on Friday, August 11, 2006 7:17:35 PM
What is a dictator?
Specifically, we all know that Bush is the Ultimate World Dictator. He wields unimaginable powers. He has the ability to read all our emails, listen to all our phone calls, even read all the letters we send through the mail. Under Dictator Bush, all our civil rights have been trampled, the Constitution is in tatters underneath its bulletproof glass, and all of us know the unsettling fear that
someone is watching us, all the time. We have been violated by the tentacles of the Great Dictator.
It's obvious that Bush is a dictator, and like any evil fascist dictator, the media is at his beck and call. Never mind the New York Times and its reports of secret government surveillance programs! Never mind the fact that Reuters refuses to use the word "terrorist" in any of its stories in order to avoid offending sensibilities so very damaged by 5 years of assaults on our Civil Rights! Oh no, Bush is a dictator as sure as he is using Roswell mind control technology to stay in power. It's no wonder he hasn't been impeached by now, once you realize this fact.
Which is why this
AP poll showing his approval rating at 33% makes total sense! Yes, the Man who was able to fix two national elections and countless other ones where Republicans somehow "won" over their Democratic rivals is somehow unable to "fix" an Associated Press poll that gives him a low approval rating!
How can this be, you ask the Roswellian? How can an all-powerful dictator have an approval rating of 33%? Any student of history knows that the Communist Party in the good old Soviet Union always won with 100% of the vote. So was Stalin a better dictator than Bush was, faithful readers ask? Has not Castro always made proud note of the fact that 100% of Cubans love his loving, fatherly leadership?
If Bush is an all-powerful dictator who controls events worldwide, how can he have a wimpy 33% approval rating?
The Roswellian says, do not be distracted by such childish and impertinent reasoning. The answer, of course, is very clear.
Bush has a 33% approval rating because it's part of the Grand Conspiracy.
Like a champion boxer who feints and takes body blows on purpose, Bush is manipulating ALL opinion polls to make him SEEM weak, to give false courage to the anti-Bush forces. That way, when someone dares questions, "How can Bush be a dictator and not have a 100% approval rating," do not be misled by the "obvious answer," i.e. "Perhaps Bush is not really a dictator and all this dictator talk is just nonsense hyperbole."
The low poll numbers are a distraction. Do not be fooled. Why do you think his approval rating seems to be "stuck" in a so-called rut of 30s? It's because Bush himself is manipulating the media to keep it there.
So be of good cheer, friends of Roswellian! Bush the Dictator will fall by our efforts, and I can guarantee that 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. will not be his home address in 2009 as long as we keep heart with ceaseless anti-Bush diatribes! And when a new man (or woman) takes seat in the Oval Office in 2009, it will be because WE will have brought the Dictator down (never mind the two term limits thing).
Let us prepare ourselves to take credit!